In 2018, Claude Kleynhans was hunting a buffalo. As he loaded it to the car, another member of the hard popped from the bushes, charged him, and gored him. He called help, but sadly, the helicopter arrived a bit late, and when they saw him, interestingly, he died "almost instantly". …

Alright, my dudes, set up the most epic proposal. Beach, sunset, the whole nine yards. Down on one knee, I open the box and—guess what—the ring slips out, bounces off the dock, and plummets into the ocean. Still waiting on a response from my SO, and the scuba rental shop. …

You ever hit 'update' on your computer, expecting everything to get better? Ha! Did that last night and woke up to a brick. Won't boot, just gives me the blue screen of despair. Literally a paperweight now. And of course, I've got deadlines. Anyone else get sniped by the latest …

Alright, buckle up folks, this one's a wild ride. Imagine your typical Monday—but make it cursed. I'm at the office, print out my big presentation, feeling like 'this is it, I'm gonna kill it'. Then comes Steve from accounting, trips over the cord, and my papers? Everywhere. It's a storm …

Dude, so I order my fave pizza, right? Counting the minutes till it arrives 'cause I'm starvin'. Delivery guy finally shows, trips on my front step and SPLAT—my pizza's now a five-topping sidewalk special. Literally watched my dinner kiss the ground. Universe 1, My Appetite 0.

First time poster here...bought a brand new gaming headset, super hyped to try it out. And guess what? DOA. Dead on arrival. No life, no sound, nada. Waited two weeks for delivery, too. Just my luck, right?

Pulled over to take a call because safety first, right? Finish up the call, step out to stretch my legs, BLAM—door shuts, keys still in the ignition... and there's me, in the middle of nowhere with a storm brewing. Had to wait for a tow service for hours. So, who …

Nightly ritual, tucking the kiddo in. Room's dark, confidence high, I step forward. Then AGONY. A wild Lego appears. Stepped right on that brick of doom. I've faced many a challenge as a parent, but nothing, *nothing* compares to the intense pain of a Lego foot attack. It's a cruel, …

Today was like Murphy’s law on steroids. Spilled coffee on white shirt, late for work, got chewed out by boss, car wouldn't start, and phone died. Was about to scream but then I just started laughing. Things were so ridiculous, it flipped a switch in me. Is this what they …

Ordered a special edition book from the UK for rnmy brother's birthday. Tracking it every day, excited like a kid. Today it says 'Delivered'! Just not to me. It's somewhere in Australia. I'm in Canada... How? Just... How? Customer service says it'll take 6-8 weeks to 'investigate'. I just can't …

Lemme paint u a pic: new house, white paint everywhere, and my ninja cat decides it's playtime. Splashes into paint tray, now I have a 'white lion' and paw prints all over. Is white the new black for cats? Asking for a friend... #CatCosplayGoneWrong

Just got back from a nightmare grocery run. It's -30C out, I'm juggling bags, and then it hits me. My keys. They're not in my pocket. They're sitting on the kitchen counter. Inside my warm, cozy, inaccessible house. Neighbor's not home, locksmith's ETA? 2 hours. Send warmth pls.

So there I was, outdoor wedding all set, everything going perfect, when out of nowhere this MASSIVE storm hits. We're talking biblical rain. Marquee flooded, bride's dress a muddy mess, caterer's tent almost took off like a kite. Isn't it ironic, don't you think?

200+ hours into Angry Birds, was on track to beat my All-Time high score, and then my phone decides it's a good time to update & reset itself. Lost everything, back to square one. Protip: Always back up your game data, folks. Don't be me. Don't do an oopsie.

*sigh* I had my passport out for a trip I'm taking in two weeks. Left it on the coffee table. Bad move, past self, bad move. My dog apparently thought it looked tasty and now it’s shredded. Gotta rush a new one and pray it gets here in time. Let’s …

Literally just got an annual pass to my favorite theme park, thinking I would go every other weekend or something. I did the math and it was supposed to save me tons. Wouldn’t ya know it, two weeks later they announce they’re shutting down for a year for 'massive renovations'. …

Folks, don't be like me. Driving down I-95 when my front tyre went POP. No biggie, I've changed tyres before. Pulled over, got my tools out, jacked up the car, and guess what? My spare tyre was flat too! Double whammy! So not just roadside assistance, but now I gotta …

Guess I'm not eating tonight lol, just cooked up a storm, homemade pizza with all the goodies, and boom, there it went, right off the counter onto my dog-hair-covered floor. And yes, 5-sec rule doesn't apply here 🤮 #RIPdinner

Today's gonna suck, I can feel it... Literally just made a fresh cup of Joe, set it next to my computer, and then my cat jumped on the desk, and BAM, coffee meets laptop. It's fried, won't even turn on. Gotta find a repair shop now or shell out for …

So, my wedding was supposed to be next month and we went all out, bought non-refundable tickets to Bali for our honeymoon 'cause they were a steal. Well, turns out, fiancee was having second thoughts and we ended up calling off the wedding. Now I'm stuck with two tickets to …

Thought I'd snack on some leftover pizza. Nuked it for 30 sec. Came out colder than my ex's heart. Increased time to 2 min. Result? Lava on a soggy plate. My poor tongue ;-; FML. Well, that sucks.

Got locked out of my house. In the rain. In my pjs. Did I mention it was at 2am? Neighbors thought I was a burglar. Yeah. My life is a sitcom, minus the laughing audience. Well, that sucks.

Walked out of the office, shoelace untied. Figured I'd walk carefully till I get to the car. Didn't even make it halfway, tripped and face planted in front of everyone. Now I'm `that guy`. Fml. Well, that sucks.

Lost my phone today. Found it hours later in the fridge between the eggs and the milk. Don't ask me how it got there, haven't got a clue! All I know is, it's not turning on anymore. Well, that sucks.

Had one job today. Only one. Make dinner without burning it. And I go on and do that job and boom! Charbroiled. Burnt the bird, smoke alarm's ringing like mad, and now I'm sat here with a cheese sandwich. And it's Gouda, not even the good stuff. Well, that sucks.

My boss walks in and I've got Reddit up. No alt tab fast enough in the world. Now he thinks I just screw around all day and I've got a 'meeting' tomorrow morning. Well, that sucks. I mean, he's not wrong, but still... PS: TIFU by getting caught, not by …

So we were doing anniversary gifts tonight, and I realized I forgot to bring the super pricey necklace I'd picked out for her AT the store. Drove in a panic all the way back, and guess what, it's gone. What a waste of 2 hours and an evening that was …

Long story short, I managed to reverse into a lamppost while trying to park my brand new car for the first time. So the bumper's all messed up, the reversing sensor isn't working right, and it's gonna cost a fortune to fix. Oh, and I caught it all on my …

So, move into this swell new place, right? First night, forgot about the tub filling up. Walked away to answer a call, water overflowed. All over the bathroom, seeping into the hallway. See ya, deposit. Well, that sucks.

K, so my bff thought it'd be cool to throw me a surprise party. Here's the thing - she told everyone to hide and be super silent as I walked in. Well, my arrival cue wasn't clear to EVERYONE. Walked into my dark house thinking it was empty. Not a …

RH Negative, baby! That's right, some of us just love living life on hard mode. Need blood? Good luck finding that rare type match. Oh, you've got it too? Come join the 'Probably Gonna Bleed Out' club. We DON'T have jackets, but we do have anxiety!

Let's just say I won't be in any shampoo commercials any time soon.

Just had to share the epic disaster. First day at a new job today. Was holding my coffee cup while navigating through the hallways. Ended up spilling the entire thing on my brand new pearly white shirt. Great first impression, isn't it?

Rushed out the door this AM. Didn't notice the car parked behind me. Bumped into it while reversing. The damage isn't big, but damn, my insurance is gonna go up now -_-

In a moment of boldness, I decided to backpack across Europe last summer. I'd like to share my experience with y'all, so here goes. First off, my flight was delayed by 5 hours. A little frustrating, but hey, these things happen. I got into London at 2 AM, and guess …

So I finally got this new tattoo. Wanted to get a cool quote inked in Latin. Guess what, I ended up with 'Pasta is eternal' emblazoned on my arm(not exactly those words, but yeah). Trust your sources, pals. Google Translate isn't one of 'em.

lol, newbie here, not sure if this is the place to share, but yeah I tried baking some banana bread yesterday n let's just say my baking skills need a lot of work. Left the bread in for too long and the fire alarm went off. Entire apartment building had …

Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. Autocomplete mess-up of the century, right here. Sending a text to the boss-man, meant to wish him a good weekend. Autocomplete had other plans, turned 'weekend' to 'Christmas'. Hit send, didn't bother re-reading. Got a reply, 'July too early for cheerful season's greetings'? Learned my …

Story time, friends! Today's chronicle? A tale of two mugs, both alike in dignity... Start the day, sunshine's out, I'm vibing. Decided to kick it off with a cup of joe, in my fav 'sunny-side-up' mug. Walking back to my desk, I trip. Coffee laden mug goes flying, smashes to …

Gather round friends, for today I regale you with a tale of woe – the Cataclysmic Shattering of my Shower Screen, or as fondly dubbed, the Glasspocalypse. It was a chilly winter's morning. Nothing unusual, the sun barely freaking the horizon, coffee (strong) in hand. The day's demands ahead, I …

D'you ever mix up your colored clothes with white in a rush? Yep, did it. Fave white sundress, with a red sock. Everything's pink now, it's a disaster! And oh god, the dress had pockets! POCKETS!! Is there a #savethepockets campaign I can sign up for or something?

So there I am, chillin, watching this guy trying to parallel park. Must've been his first time, man it was BAD. 6 attempts, I swear. Bumped both cars front & back like they owed him money! Rad bumper cars action on a boring Tuesday, hahahaha. PS: All cars survived, can't …

Not even kidding, bro. I work late, came home, thought I'd grab a quick bite - a freakin toast, no big deal, right? Burnt it to cinders (don't ask), triggered the damn fire alarm. At 3 in the a-friggin-morning. Neighbours aren't chuffed, I can tell ya. FML.

Yo, my car battery died at the mall, right. Sucky, huh? So, I called AAA and they came. The AAA guy's battery ALSO died. HAHA. Had to wait for second AAA truck. Tell me that ain't a whole new level of sucks. PS: Not a Bernie fan, but couldn't resist …

As someone that spends a significant amount of time on the phone for work, I've developed a deep-seated disdain for long phone calls, so I thought of sharing a few sources of my frustration. Firstly, phone calls are consequential in comparison to other modes of conversation. During an in-person conversation, …

Some months back, I won the lottery. Not the small ones, we're talking about seven-figure eye-watering money. Man, was I over the moon! I quit my job, ready to enjoy my early retirement. I moved into an upscale neighborhood, bought high-end cars, the whole shebang. My friends and family were …

Guys, never, and I mean NEVER, try to open a new jar of honey with slippery hands. Was having my toast, hands a bit buttery, grabbed the new honey jar. Damn thing slipped outta my hand and honey EVERYWHERE. Spent hours cleaning up. Breakfast ruined.

So, I waited like for freaking ever to get a PS5 right, like everyone else on this planet. It finally arrives, I unbox it with the biggest smile on my face. Turn it on and... absolute silence. Ud think something's wrong right? NO, IT'S QUIET AS HELL. I bought it …

Recently tried making homemade KitKats. However, my father didn't like KitKats. As a result, he spilled the chocolate base all over me and laughed. He said: "Awful boy!", and ran away from me. I had to take an hour-long bath just to get all melted KitKats taken away. And as …

Long-time lurker, first-time poster. My stupid cat stole my last roll of toilet paper and shredded it all over my apartment. That was my day. Hope you guys had a better one.

Decided to start dieting so bought a whole load of salad stuff. Just found out I've been munching on a fern from my living room for the past 3 days. Thought it was just weird lettuce or summat.

So, let me set the stage. My daughter's high school hosted a parent's night. She begged me to 'act cool for once, Dad'. I agreed, even borrowed one of those leather jackets from a friend. Looking rather sleek, I thought. The event goes well, we're all having fun. Now, they …

Okay so apparently, when I get flustered or clumsy, the universe decides that it's comedy hour. So, I've been dreaming of getting this limited edition graphic novel for months. Saved up, waited in line, the whole shebang. Finally got it, pristine and beautiful. Can you guess what happened next? I …

Sent this chick I've been eyeing for weeks a super witty text last night, ready to sweep her off her feet, right? Spent all night thinking about it. Ended up drunk texting her about how I was sexually attracted to shawarma sandwiches at 3am. #FML

so... was walking around the park with my gf today and sneezed so hard my gum flew outta my mouth and landed on some dude's face. Not cool. Girlfriend died laughing tho.

Last week, I bought a new PS4 Pro for my brother to surprise. But yesterday, some bad things happened. My wife was making pizza for my birthday party. Unfortunately, while trying to make juice for us, she spilled the bottle of Minute Maid into the PS4 Pro and BAM!!! It …

Pulled an all-nighter for a major client presentation. Just as I was about to wrap up, reach for my coffee, slip and boom - hot coffee all over my laptop. The screen goes blank, heart goes into overdrive. In one swift move, went from potential employee of the month to …

Decided to surprise my wife, thought I'd try my hand at her favourite cake. Bought all the fancy ingredients, followed each instruction to the T. Cake goes in the oven, I set the timer. Timer dings, I rush, and what do I pull out? A blackened disk that could've been …

Been an avid drone flyer for years, got myself a new DJI Mavic last week. Textbook take off, flying real smoth. Committed the cardinal sin of drone flying - lost focus cause there was this bird, second of distraction and next thing drone takes a dive straight into my neighbour's …

My bestie's surprise party. Yours truly in a cupboard, ready to jump out. Waited for what felt like FOREVER, decided to take a quick nap. Woke up 2 hours later, party well underway, me still stuck in the cupboard. Tried to sneak out, knocked over a plant, ended up being …

So I got myself a nice secondhand car, thought it'd be cool to start doing my own maintenance. You know, become one of those car guys. About 4 months in, things were going great, hadn't spent a dime on garage maintenance. Fast forward to yesterday: the engine went Kaboom! right …

Hey guys so I just joined a gym, really pumped to get fit n all. Cute girl at the gym got me feeling like Superman. Figured I'd show off a bit, picked up the heaviest dumbbells I could find. Managed bout 3 reps before my arms gave way. Dumbbells clattered …

I was on YouTube, making a meme that went like: "Here's your name. Your name must be: [Credit Card Numbers] [Credit Card Holder Name] [CVC]". Then I posted it, and guess what? When the meme got a lot of views, the comments were flooded with doxxing their parents' credit card …