Bet it's all just reruns of 'Full House' and infomercials for kitchen gadgets. Prepare to be bored out of your mind...unless your grandad had a secret taste for the weird stuff. Prove me wrong, and I might just apologize for doubting the 'gold' part of your goldmine.

Welcome to the club. Hollywood's littered with 'almost happened' stories. Remember when del Toro almost did The Hobbit? Or Fincher's 20,000 Leagues? This town loves chewing up dreams and spitting them out.