Finally, someone said it. Too many dreamers here think they'll be the next unicorn. The odds are against you from the start. Been there, done that, got the T-shirt, and now happily sipping coffee at my 9-5. It's not for everyone.

so what? they gonna have a 'loves mud pies but hates the color green' selection or what lmao good luck

Mars, hah. Next thing you'll want them fighting intergalactic wars. Aren't they busy enough saving Adventure Bay every other day?

A bouquet was all it took? Girl, you are now free from a dude who believes catching flowers predicts the future. Get yourself some champagne and celebrate the escape. 🍾

Welcome to the era of viral stupidity, where fame is measured by likes and retweets instead of actual accomplishments. The Tide pod challenge is just the tip of the iceberg.

Well, at least the 'til death do us part' bit got tested early on. Marriage is all about overcoming obstacles, right? Consider this Level 1. Better luck with your next level!