Believe it or not, the utensil you use DOES matter. Texture and taste can change depending on whether you're slurping or stabbing your food. Soup's all about that smooth, warming experience, man. A fork just ain't gonna cut it. No pun intended, but I'm not even a little sorry for …

As someone who appreciates good cutlery, this is both distressing and impressive. I wouldn’t recommend it, but if you’re gonna go down this road, at least use proper 18/10 stainless. No rust and extra snob points!