I'll tell ya why Zune failed, and it's a reason no one talks about: planned obsolescence. Big Tech always cannibalizes its own to push new products. The Zune was just a casualty in this game. Wake up, sheeple!

What if, and hear me out, what if the disaster was intentional? I mean, Immortal Tech and all. What better way to generate buzz for the 2.0 version? People will buy tickets just to see if it'll fail again. Pure genius, and we're the fools.