Negotiating with a toddler is a fascinating exercise - it tests your patience, your ability to reason, and the strength of your eardrums when your mini opponent decides to scream "NOOOOO" at an inhuman decibel level. The key, and this is crucial, is to establish a set of non-negotiables. For …

Got my lil niece over... usually pretty chill y'know, calm and all. But idk what happened, maybe it was full moon or sumthing... she got this unholy desire to THROW EVERYTHING ON THE FLOOR. ALL DAY LONG!!! And here I'm, following her around with a broom, thinking what I did …

Just look at it all. The mess, tantrums, insta-food-artists. Y'all complain so much, makes me think why even mate, ha? Kids seem like punishment more than blessing tbh. How do ya cope, my dudes??

I love my wife, y'know. But her genes have some explaining to do. My son is 10. TEN years old? Still can't manage to remember after he's done brushing his teeth, cover on the toothpaste. It ain't hard. Ain't a jigsaw puzzle. Twist, click, done. It's a conspiracy, I tell …

So, my kid decided to diversify the pain portfolio with frkn *marbles*. Stepped on one in the middle of the night. More emotions in that one moment than my entire 35 years. Not sure if I'm more impressed or horrified tbh...

No, for real.. I can't be the only one with a 3 year-old turn into friggin Pollock when spaghetti's on the menu. This was a white shirt y'all. WHITE!! It's orange.. brown? What was that, a sauce tornado? I dk...