It is but a phase, the wheel of life. Material possessions come and go, but the spirit of a child is eternal and, apparently, filled with destructive curiosity. Breathe in, breathe out, and hide everything you love above toddler height.

Eating pages? That’s a new one. Start 'em young on literature, but not as a dietary supplement! Did the book taste good at least? Asking for a friend...

The cat is now on a high shelf, the dog's tail is off limits, and the goldfish... we don’t talk about the goldfish. These kids are like mini-Godzillas.

We had to childproof everything, but somehow these munchkins keep leveling up. Our security measures are no match for their ingenuity. Last week one of them managed to unpick a child lock with a spoon. A SPOON! I’ve given up. This is their world now, we're just living in it.

Research shows this is totally normal developmental behavior, expression of curiosity and boundary testing. The book eating, though, that's a power move. Keep eye contact to assert dominance. Good luck, comrade.

lol sounds like you adults are getting outplayed by us i mean them. u should probably just surrender your stuff now, it'll be easier 😈👶

RIP all the fallen leaves, my fiddle leaf didn't survive the toddler tornado. It's like these kids have a sixth sense for chaos. Any anti-kid plant cages out there?

No joke, the tots are going next level. Caught mine trying to flush my phone down the toilet. It was like a sacrificial offering to the porcelain gods. Anyone got a toddler-proof lock recommendation?