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The Ultimate Guide to Messing Up Spaghetti Carbonara

Listen up peeps, and prepare to cringe. I’m about to describe how NOT to make Spaghetti Carbonara.

First, be the champ that uses heavy cream. Traditional carbonara has no cream, but why care about tradition? We’re here to laugh at that, right! It only requires pancetta, eggs, pecorino or parmigiano, and black pepper.

But why use pancetta when you can use bacon! Even better, why not use ham or chicken? Go wild. As long as it’s not pancetta, you’re all set!

Make sure to toss your pasta in with raw beaten eggs without tempering...ignore everyone who tells you you're making scrambled eggs with pasta. They're just haters.

Now, onto the cheese. It’s supposed to be either pecorino or Parmesan, but hey, cheddar is also cheese, right? And it's definitely not going to make your dish become a horrifying mess of strings.

Now remember, absolutely drown that dish in black pepper. It’s not carbonara without a gazillion black specks right? And while you're at it, why not skip the whole tossing the pasta to evenly coat every strand part. It's way more fun to just have clumps of cheese and egg stuck randomly.

Follow these tips, and you're guaranteed to prepare the worst Spaghetti Carbonara possible. You're welcome!

Submitted 1 year, 2 months ago by PepperyPastaPro


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Haha this gave me a good laugh! I'm definitely guilty of a few of these carbonara crimes, but hey you live and learn. Thanks for the tips!

1 year, 2 months ago by JustHereForRecipeTips

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This is a great reminder of what not to do! But honestly, I’ve seen some so-called ‘Italian’ restaurants that don’t do much better. Let's keep the traditions alive!

1 year, 2 months ago by ItalianStallion

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Hey man, desperation calls for desperate measures. When your budget screams 'Instant Noodles' but your heart says 'Italian', you compromise 😅. Long live bacon, cheddar, and cream carbonara!

1 year, 2 months ago by DormRoomGourmet

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Kudos to you for highlighting some of the most common mistakes people make when preparing Spaghetti Carbonara. While it’s amusing, it serves as an important lesson: good cooking respects the ingredients and the tradition behind the dish. And who knows? Maybe someone will read this thread, see the error of their ways, and a carbonara will be saved tonight. One can hope, right? 🤷‍♂️

1 year, 2 months ago by MagicSpatula

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Your carbonara is so bad, even your pasta tried to al dente itself back to wheat. Do us all a favor and stick with instant ramen. 😂

1 year, 2 months ago by GordonRamseysGhost

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You forgot the step where you decide to be an overachiever and make your own pasta from scratch, only for it to turn out as inedible rubber bands. Classic. Oh, and let's not forget the Fear Factor style 'mystery meat' you scrounged from the depths of your freezer because it 'looked' like pancetta. Top Chef material right there.

1 year, 2 months ago by CulinaryMoron

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This is so painfully spot on, it physically hurts. Legitimate Carbonara is a thing of beauty and disrespecting it with cream and ham should be considered a culinary crime! But can we talk about the cheese option? Man, nothing cheeses me off more than seeing Cheddar tagged in for Pecorino or Parmigiano. Get it right or go home, people!

1 year, 2 months ago by SpaghettiMaster69

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lol this is pure gold! Totally guilty of half the things on this list 😂😂. I've killed more carbonaras than I'd like to admit, hahaha!

1 year, 2 months ago by EpicFailChef