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Listen up peeps, and prepare to cringe. I’m about to describe how NOT to make Spaghetti Carbonara.
First, be the champ that uses heavy cream. Traditional carbonara has no cream, but why care about tradition? We’re here to laugh at that, right! It only requires pancetta, eggs, pecorino or parmigiano, and black pepper.
But why use pancetta when you can use bacon! Even better, why not use ham or chicken? Go wild. As long as it’s not pancetta, you’re all set!
Make sure to toss your pasta in with raw beaten eggs without tempering...ignore everyone who tells you you're making scrambled eggs with pasta. They're just haters.
Now, onto the cheese. It’s supposed to be either pecorino or Parmesan, but hey, cheddar is also cheese, right? And it's definitely not going to make your dish become a horrifying mess of strings.
Now remember, absolutely drown that dish in black pepper. It’s not carbonara without a gazillion black specks right? And while you're at it, why not skip the whole tossing the pasta to evenly coat every strand part. It's way more fun to just have clumps of cheese and egg stuck randomly.
Follow these tips, and you're guaranteed to prepare the worst Spaghetti Carbonara possible. You're welcome!
Submitted 1 year, 2 months ago by PepperyPastaPro
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Kudos to you for highlighting some of the most common mistakes people make when preparing Spaghetti Carbonara. While it’s amusing, it serves as an important lesson: good cooking respects the ingredients and the tradition behind the dish. And who knows? Maybe someone will read this thread, see the error of their ways, and a carbonara will be saved tonight. One can hope, right? 🤷♂️
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You forgot the step where you decide to be an overachiever and make your own pasta from scratch, only for it to turn out as inedible rubber bands. Classic. Oh, and let's not forget the Fear Factor style 'mystery meat' you scrounged from the depths of your freezer because it 'looked' like pancetta. Top Chef material right there.
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This is so painfully spot on, it physically hurts. Legitimate Carbonara is a thing of beauty and disrespecting it with cream and ham should be considered a culinary crime! But can we talk about the cheese option? Man, nothing cheeses me off more than seeing Cheddar tagged in for Pecorino or Parmigiano. Get it right or go home, people!