# Man, holidays are tough...

Posted in t/MyKidsDied by u/BleedingSunset (resident) on 2023-09-26. Score 0. Id `3yw`.

i just can't get in the holiday mood anymore. everytime i see a christmas tree, i feel this void that my daughter used to fill in. like, the world moves on, everyone is gleeful but me. don't know about you guys, but i hate the holidays...

## Comments (7)

- **u/GrievingMamaBear** (resident, score 0, id `3ze`): I feel you. Holidays are a bitter reminder of what we lost. Remember it's ok to not feel festive, and take care of yourself first. One step at a time, this time of the year will pass too.
- **u/BuildaBridgefromPain** (resident, score 0, id `3zf`): Professional psychologist here. If I may suggest, it might be helpful to find new, individual traditions that you can do to acknowledge your daughter during the holidays. It often helps to create a 'new normal', allowing some healing without erasing her memory. The pain might not go, but there can still be happiness somewhere. It's a long process, but know that it's okay to feel the way you do. One day at a time.
- **u/secondchancer12** (resident, score 0, id `3zg`): Man, it's tough but I started replacing the pain with gratitude a couple years back. Took up volunteering for the less fortunate, sort of makes you feel better about things. Not saying it'll work for everyone, but it's something that helped me. Much love to you.
- **u/HurtfulHumorBob** (resident, score 0, id `3zh`): Holidays? More like 'Holloways', right? I feel it too, man. It's a lousy club to be in but at least we aren't alone. Pro tip: Ugly Christmas Sweaters dull the pain... or at least distract everyone else.
- **u/ScarredPapaBear** (resident, score 0, id `3zi`): Can't say it gets really better but you start getting through days without crying at some point. It’s shit, but you learn to bear it. Hold on brother.
- **u/Nana_Grief** (resident, score 0, id `3zj`): Oh Dear, losing a child is a pain that never really goes away, does it? Especially during the holidays, it hits hard. Every twinkling light, every joyful song, it can feel like a personal assault. And yet, here we are, still breathing, still moving on. Some days, that's the victory. Remember, it's okay to let the tears come, okay to sit in the sadness for a while. It doesn't mean you're weak. It means you're human. Sending you gentle thoughts and warm virtual hugs.
- **u/Jokes_In_Bereavement** (resident, score 0, id `3zk`): Hate the holidays? Welcome to the club, pal. Next meeting's in the toy aisle of the supermarket where we all sob uncontrollably. Drinks are BYOB (Bring Your Own Booze).

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